


Long Walk Home

by sociallychallengednerd



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fallen Castiel, Homeless Castiel, Human Castiel, M/M, Post Season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 07:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sociallychallengednerd/pseuds/sociallychallengednerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't remember much just staring at the sky watching my brothers and sister burn, and all because of me. Then I was stumbling through the woods my vessel feeling heavy and like it was too...big for once rather than too small. </p>
<p>After the fall Castiel starts the journey home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Walk Home

**Author's Note:**

> This had originally been for an ask blog....then it got a little out of hand.

I don't remember much just staring at the sky watching my brothers and sister burn, and all because of me. Then I was stumbling through the woods my vessel feeling heavy and like it was too...big for once rather than too small. Everything seemed to blur together and I'm not sure if it was minutes or hours before I saw lights through the trees. I walked out of the tree line to find myself in what appeared a small town bustling with life. People were out on the streets talking of the lights in the sky. I pressed on walking before coming to a stop outside of a bar. It was small and seedy, and...familiar. So much like the places the Winchesters frequented. 

I walked in and I could almost imagine I was going to find Dean sitting and chatting with an attractive women. Instead the bar was nearly empty except for small patches of people crowded around television watching the news. I sat down at the bar ignoring the bartender in favour of fishing my phone from my pocket, only to find it had been crushed to pieces when Metatron dropped me on earth. With a roll of my eyes and an exasperated sigh I dropped it back in my pocket.  
   
Pushing back from the bar with the idea of using the pay phone I had seen outside to call Dean with the money I still had left over from my earlier shopping trip I turned only to run into a large burly man. I frowned disturbed by my vessels sudden lack of grace. That was...odd. The man narrowed his eyes at me and let out a growl.   
   
"Watch where you're going Squinty." The man slurred, obviously intoxicated, as he pulled back a fist. I didn't bother to flinch or draw away. Why would I? He could not possible harm me. Next thing I knew I was laying on my back my face throbbing and blinking dumbly up at the ceiling. Ow. How...? It didn't make any sense.   
   
Suddenly I was being thrown on the street landing in a heap. I didn't bother to get up just curled up on the side of the building. It was with a sick feeling in the pit of my gut that I realized I was human. Not near mortal, but completely, utterly human. Metatron had taken my Grace. I sat there and wept that night, for my brothers and the pain they must now be feeling, for me, for the Winchesters, but mostly I wept for my stolen Grace and what it meant.  
    
I woke up the next day not even realizing I had fallen asleep, and for the first time in my existence I was cold. I stood and my vessel-...my body protested stiff and sore from falling asleep against the cold alley wall. I walked forcing myself to the pay phone one hand already reaching for the money in my pocket, but I stopped. I remember what Metatron had said to me. Perhaps he was right? Would it really be best for me to make the call? I was mortal now. Powerless, nothing but a baby in a trench coat so to speak. I would be of no use to the brothers. I could start new. Have a life and a family, get married. No. I couldn't. I couldn't leave Dean again, betray him. I had to go back. But I wouldn't call, not now. I could at least put that off as long as possible.   
   
The next few days were a blur. I found out I was somewhere in Southern Nebraska, not too far from Lebanon...and Dean. I begged for change scrounging up what I could to live. For the first time I was hungry, so very hungry. I managed enough money to buy a burger, and it was the first enjoyable experiences I had in days. Alternating between hitch hiking and bus rides, when there was enough money, I slowly made my way toward home. Home...Yes, that's exactly what it was. My family was Sam, and Dean, and Kevin at the bunker. I miss them I realized with a heavy heart. My brothers would not welcome me back with open arm, but hopefully my family would. Angel, or not.   
   
It was a week later that I'm sitting outside a truck stop wearing stolen clothes under an over coat I couldn't bare to part with. The rest of my old clothes were in a bag that I also stolen. It wasn't a particularly good feeling, and part of me wonders what Father would say if he could see me. Only my Father isn't here, so I tell myself I don't care. Dean wouldn't care if he were here. I miss him, which is odd. I've been away from him before, and while I thought of my friend before I feel everything more...acutely with my new mortality. Feelings are a horrible thing I've discovered. How humans deal with them day in and day out is beyond me, but I suppose I'll have to learn.   
   
I hadn't eaten in two days; too busy using the money for bus fair than to eat, when a stranger walks up to me sitting outside a fast food place. Without a word the elderly man leaned down placing a bag in my hands. I know instantly its food. The smell makes my mouth water. I blink up at the man stunned. In the past week I have been both humbled and disgusted by human nature.   
   
"Thank you." My voice is horse and raw with disuse, and my jaw feels sore.   
   
"Come with me son. I'll give you a ride." I look the man over with caution.  
   
I had early learned to be careful taking rides after hitchhiking by a truck stop. A man named Jackson had picked me up. He seemed kind enough then he had pulled over on the side of the road. Jackson put his hand on my leg moving far to close for comfort, and when I pushed him away he got upset. I got out of the car and ran. I didn't take anymore rides after that, only walking and buses. So I was less then eager to get in the car with a strange man, but the man was old, around sixty. Angelic strength or not I could still handle myself. The man seemed to understand my problem.   
   
"I ain't gonna hurt ya. I just wanna give ya a ride. Where ya going?"  
   
"Lebanon Kansas." I said standing letting the man lead me to the old pickup truck that reminded me of the one Bobby had owned.   
   
"What do ya know? I'll be passing through Lawrence. I can let you off there. It's only about..." the man seemed to think about it, "three miles away. Come on hope in." And I did.  
   
   
Mr. Clark turned out to a very kind man. He talked with me for hours, and I told him everything leaving out only the incriminating parts unbelievable to civilians. I told him how far I had fallen, once never questioning or disobeying then I met Dean. He showed me to ask questions and think for myself. I told him how I betrayed my brothers for Sam and Dean, and then betrayed them myself. How I healed Sam only get become ill myself. Then that Sam and Dean left me there sick alone with Meg, my once enemy turned friend. I talked about being used by Naomi, and almost killing Dean, finding the Winchesters again, and my fight with Dean before I caused my whole family to lose their home in a fire. Mr. Clark listened to it all over the miles. Once I finished I slept for the first time in what felt like days.  
   
When I woke up it's to Mr. Clark shaking me awake. The sun was bright and I had to blink my vision clear. Mr. Clark smiled at me and told me we're here. We're parked outside a gas station that's busy with activity. I thanked him and turned to climb out when his hand on my shoulder stopped me.  
   
"And Castiel, good luck son. I hope you find you’re Dean and things work out." And once again humanity's kindness warmed me.  
   
"Thank you." I said again and climb from the car.  
   
I took a bus the next day after making some money pan handling along the highway. After two hours of riding the bus I finally got off in Junction City. As I stared at the map in the bus station I realized with sick anticipation how close I am. Two hours, one more bus and I'm home. All the thoughts and doubts I had pushed away forced themselves into my head. What if Dean was still mad at me? What if they didn't want me back? I pushed the thought away. I had to go. I couldn't leave Dean without saying anything. Not again.   
   
Money was harder to come by, and I barely made enough for a bus ticket. When the bus finally came I was torn between excitement and dread. I was boarding the bus when the woman behind me became hysterical. She had lost her ticket and didn't have money to buy a new one. I looked at the obviously pregnant woman. She was babbling to the man about losing her ticket and desperately needing to get to get to Concordia. I felt bad for the woman, sympathy aching in my chest. 

I placed a hand on her shoulder holding out my ticket to her. She blinked up at me stunned. The woman turned wrapping arms around me pulling me into a tight hug. She pulled back after a moment and I just stared at the woman in rigged shock. The woman grinned and thanks me as I climbed from the bus. 

I was glad to have helped the woman, but that was the last of my money, and I hadn't eaten in a few day. Already my stomach was twisted in hunger. I stared at the map debating if I should stay in town and try to earn another bus ticket, but I couldn't. Dean, and Sam of course, were only a two days walk away and there was no way I could stay in town know that I was so close. So I walked. 

Thankfully the first day I walked was fairly warm. I walked for hours, till my feet were begging for me to sit, and I kept walking. When the sun started to set I realized I hadn't thought about a place to sleep. I ended up sleeping under an overpass. The sound of cars speeding by kept me awake most of the night, but it was shelter. By the next morning I realized with disappointment that it would be more than a two day walk to the bunker. At the very least it would take three day.

I walked and walked and walk along the route that I had planned. My stomach was aching painfully now, but there was nowhere for me to stop and beg for money. It would just mean another day away from the Winchesters. Besides even if I had money there was no place for me to buy food around here that wasn't far put of my way. 

That night I slept hidden away in the trees next to the road. I had my coat spread out on the grass under me to shield me from the cold ground. Early in the morning I was woken by the cold fall of rain. I scrambled gathering up my coat an  pulling it over my shoulders. Vaguely I remembered that humans could become sick from the cold, and I could only hope that my over coat would be enough. It was cold that day and it was going on my fourth day without food. I was miserable, but I was close. So very close. 

I walked following the path numbly to busy concentrating on stay warm. It took me several minutes to realize I was almost there. I pressed on ignoring the cold and the hunger that was as starting to make me dizzy. 

When I saw the door to the bunker I was hit with a rush of joy that was quickly quelled as my leg started to struggle to hold me up and my head spun. I stumbled to the door too weak to knock throwing my body against it in hopes of drawing attention from inside. I couldn't hold myself up and sank to the ground. Then the door was being open, but it wasn't the comforting sight of broad shoulders and green eyes in the door way, not even towering height and shaggy hair. It was that of a woman with bright red hair and a worried expression. 

"Help." I managed to croak. I don't know this woman but she is my last chance and I am now at her mercy. Then the woman is turning around back to the bunker, and for one minute I think she's going to leave me.

"Dean! You got a visitor." She shouted. The last thing I heard before the darkness closed around me was the echo of feet on the concrete floor.

When I woke up the first thing I saw was a pair of bright green eyes close in front of my face that could only belong to Dean. He moved back once I opened my eye with a relieved sigh. Dean let out a mutter, "thank God." I blinked up at the man in front of me dazed.

"Hello Dean." I almost couldn't believe he was here. After over two weeks of wondering on the road I had made it. The smile he gave me was blinding sending a bolt of warmth through me. I could see the red head stand just behind him and Sam in the doorway looking relieved.

"Hey Cas." And just like that Dean was leaning down wrapping an arms around me and helping me inside. I was finally home.


End file.
